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I was at my camp ,home ,safe ,and going to be with my family soon, my mate and my two kits. There was a fire in the camp two sunrises ago. After I got out twolegs caught me, but later my clanmates rescued me:

My clanmates started to take off the twoleg thing that was bound across my eyes making me blind. Feeling the nips of their teeth at my skin made me flinch ,but I stood still.  I clawed at the ashy ground waiting for them to finally take it off. My clanmates bit and tore at the twoleg thing. The twoleg thing came off easily and it fell to the ground.

My clan gasped! But I could not see what they were gasping at, the thing was still across my eyes. I got to my feet and whirled around trying to find what they were gasping at I could feel the dust swirling around me and cats running.

I said "What!? Whats wrong!?" They all went silent, making my neck fur bristle as I felt their eyes beat down on me.

Then after the tension started to lower I said "I thought you took the twoleg thing off?"

The clan medicine cat whispered in my ear with a cracking voice, "Yo-you have no eyes." I stumbled back in shock ,gasping.

"What?!" I said alarmed tring to open my eyes.

"You're blind."

I called for my mate to confirm this, "Birdflight! Birdflight!"

"She's gone..."

"Wha-Wha-What? Were did she go?" I asked, worry stricken for my mate. When no one answered I assumed the worst. "The-then sh-she's dead. Th-the kits?" I choked out between tears that had started to clot the ash beneath me.

The medicine cat said "I'm sorry." and started walking me to his den, leading me with his tail.
Ok so this is about a tom who's eyes were burned in a fire. Twolegs saved him but had to take his eyes out in the proses. But when he gets home his family is dead. This story was meant to be sad and very emotional. Please tell me if there is any way I could make this better. Yes you can cry without eyes.
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:iconsmokestar11:
Smokestar11 Featured By Owner May 15, 2012  Hobbyist Traditional Artist
Here![link] its a bit crap though ^^;
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:iconsagesleaf:
Sagesleaf Featured By Owner May 15, 2012  Hobbyist Traditional Artist
I love it! :D
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:iconsmokestar11:
Smokestar11 Featured By Owner May 16, 2012  Hobbyist Traditional Artist
Thanks :D
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:iconsmokestar11:
Smokestar11 Featured By Owner May 12, 2012  Hobbyist Traditional Artist
i could put this ina a picture if u want
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:iconsagesleaf:
Sagesleaf Featured By Owner May 13, 2012  Hobbyist Traditional Artist
You can do it if you want to! :D
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:iconsmokestar11:
Smokestar11 Featured By Owner May 14, 2012  Hobbyist Traditional Artist
I will :D
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:iconsagesleaf:
Sagesleaf Featured By Owner May 15, 2012  Hobbyist Traditional Artist
looks great!! :D
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:iconlenshea:
lenshea Featured By Owner Dec 2, 2011  Hobbyist Digital Artist
*sad face* D: its so sad though!
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:iconsagesleaf:
Sagesleaf Featured By Owner Dec 3, 2011  Hobbyist Traditional Artist
Thats what I was going for! :D But yes its very sad.
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:iconlenshea:
lenshea Featured By Owner Dec 3, 2011  Hobbyist Digital Artist
*sigh*
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:iconyinyangkitten:
yinyangkitten Featured By Owner Nov 30, 2011  Student Artist
awsome
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:iconsagesleaf:
Sagesleaf Featured By Owner Nov 30, 2011  Hobbyist Traditional Artist
Thanks! :D
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:iconleeloo-lynxwolf-22:
leeloo-lynxwolf-22 Featured By Owner Nov 28, 2011  Student Writer
well i think that you have done a grate job in matting it sad and emtionle ^^ and how cares about the tears, it makes it more real and sad....and yes this made me tear up :tears:

again lovely job :clap:
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:iconsagesleaf:
Sagesleaf Featured By Owner Nov 28, 2011  Hobbyist Traditional Artist
Thank you! :D
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:iconleeloo-lynxwolf-22:
leeloo-lynxwolf-22 Featured By Owner Nov 29, 2011  Student Writer
your welcome ^^
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:iconvampire-dragon:
Vampire-dragon Featured By Owner Nov 27, 2011
If he has no eyes, how can he cry? But then again, cats are physically unable to cry in the first place anyway.
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:iconsagesleaf:
Sagesleaf Featured By Owner Nov 27, 2011  Hobbyist Traditional Artist
As you can see with my conversation with myself you can and if you don't believe me look it up. Yes it was just a small detail and I could take it out but it makes it sound alot more sad.
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:iconkawaiifeather:
KawaiiFeather Featured By Owner Nov 27, 2011
Course you can cry with no eyes. The Twolegs removed his eyes, not his tear ducts...
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:iconsagesleaf:
Sagesleaf Featured By Owner Nov 27, 2011  Hobbyist Traditional Artist
Yes
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:iconsagesleaf:
Sagesleaf Featured By Owner Nov 27, 2011  Hobbyist Traditional Artist
Wait one moment can you cry with out eyes?!?!
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:iconsagesleaf:
Sagesleaf Featured By Owner Nov 27, 2011  Hobbyist Traditional Artist
Yes you can cry without eyes.
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:iconsilverstonepokegirl:
Silverstonepokegirl Featured By Owner Nov 23, 2011  Hobbyist Traditional Artist
SO SAD!! :tears:
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:iconsagesleaf:
Sagesleaf Featured By Owner Nov 23, 2011  Hobbyist Traditional Artist
Thats how I wanted it. :D
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:iconsilverstonepokegirl:
Silverstonepokegirl Featured By Owner Nov 23, 2011  Hobbyist Traditional Artist
im sure you did... but why doesn't he have any eyes?
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:iconsagesleaf:
Sagesleaf Featured By Owner Nov 23, 2011  Hobbyist Traditional Artist
they got burned
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:iconsilverstonepokegirl:
Silverstonepokegirl Featured By Owner Nov 23, 2011  Hobbyist Traditional Artist
oh... that stinks... how did they get burned?
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:iconsagesleaf:
Sagesleaf Featured By Owner Nov 24, 2011  Hobbyist Traditional Artist
if a fire in the camp
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:iconsilverstonepokegirl:
Silverstonepokegirl Featured By Owner Nov 24, 2011  Hobbyist Traditional Artist
oh... why did he have a think on his eyes?
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:iconsagesleaf:
Sagesleaf Featured By Owner Nov 25, 2011  Hobbyist Traditional Artist
a bandage
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(1 Reply)
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